the ex’s enemy friend, the bait and switch, and more – Ask a Manager

Here are three updates from past letter writers.

1. A friend of my ex-boyfriend verbally assaulted me at work

I’m the one you asked about a new employee who blew me up because he’s friends with my ex.

The day after you posted my question, I went out of town on a business trip for a week.

Guess what happened when I got back to the office? No view of Joe! Apparently he no longer works for our company. I never even had to speak to our senior manager (admittedly, I postponed that conversation for fear of being seen as causing drama). His character spoke for itself (I suspect he did something so outrageous while I was gone).

2. My former colleagues hired me to work for them…but it was a bait and a switch, they fired me and I’m ashamed

I wanted to thank you and the AAM community for your kind words. I wrote to you in a place where I was really feeling so down, and getting so much support from strangers who don’t have to sit in my corner really made all the difference to me. I actually started my job search the same week the letter was published, and I’m happy to share that I have a new role that I love, a 30% pay increase for a fraction of the stress!

Now… a few (crazy) updates:

First, Amy and Brooke fired almost everyone else on the team there shortly after I signed up. My first thought was that they were in financial trouble, but I heard through the jokes that they had replaced all the roles and then some of those new people came along. also let go. So they essentially fired every single person they’ve ever hired to fill the role I did.

I think the whole slew of laid-off employees turned to Glassdoor to share their experiences, all almost identical to mine – I think I was just the first of many. I still haven’t written one, but I guess it wasn’t necessary either!

THEN Amy and Brooke go on to write an absolutely unhinged blog post talking about how they “love the negative glass door reviews” and going LINE by LINE through the reviews and talking about how everyone who got let go was just “mediocre” , ignoring all the valid criticisms and devastating experiences every reviewer had. It was truly a sight to behold, it was sent to me almost a dozen times on LinkedIn through mutual connections.

So overall the whole experience was a great lesson. I will never allow anyone else to act against me against my better judgement, or to blindly believe that coworkers/bosses put my best interests first. Looking back is always 20/20, and WOW, I’m so glad I’m done with that place.

Thanks again Alison, I can’t even begin to tell you how much your advice has helped me get back from a really low place.

3. Can I work a second job at my first job if things are slow? (#3 at the link)

Writing with an update to my February question about taking a second job and working during the downtime of my current full-time job.

In the meantime, I have undergone a major career/life change and will start a (long, full-time) graduate program this fall. Since my full-time job during the pandemic has proven that it can be completely remote, I just heard from my employer and they call remotely on a case-by-case basis, and I’m allowed to stay remote! Since I am remote, I will keep my job while I am in school. There is overlap during official working hours and teaching hours. I expect some early mornings, evenings and weekends to (unofficially) reduce my workload and get things done. I’ve done a little test run over the past few months and I think it’s doable. It can be done and I know it will be a lot, but it can be done. It’s a huge relief to know that my living expenses are paid with my work salary and that I can take out fewer student loans!

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